I have always been a little weird. Just ask anyone who knows me. On the way to school as a kid, when I wasn’t peeing my pants, I would be waving to strangers. I ate an assortment of leaves and berries along the way. And for a while I ate a lot of paper.
The most unusual thing I did needs to be confessed. It is my story of Fake Depression.
I was writing rubbish and getting hundreds of views. I loved it. It was probably a terrible thing to do.
Like most bad decisions in my life, it started with a girl.
I was working with a girl I liked and knew that she was not interested in me. She had heard some things about me that were true. And I don’t blame her. However, I did want to have some fun with the situation.
I decided at one point to buy a bike on craigslist. It was supposed to be a BMX and I think I traded a skateboard for it. I decided to show it to this girl. My friend and I met up with her and her friend in a Kroger parking lot. I got the bike out of my back seat and showed her. I rode around a little bit. She was not impressed.
Then I commented on MySpace about the situation. Her and I got into an online argument. I had her on the line. Everything was going according to the plan. The plan that I was making up as I went along.
So I was making up all sorts of stories about our non-existent relationship. I would post daily or more often. At one point I started writing pure rubbish. I found the internet has a huge appetite for rubbish. Honestly I don’t think what I was writing was all that engaging. Eh? Maybe. Probably not.
My roommate was in on the whole thing. And anyone who knew me IRL should have known it was fake. I would assure people I was fine but they wouldn’t believe me.
Why do people believe what you write but not what you say?
I probably looked terrible at the time because I wasn’t sleeping much. I wasn’t sleeping because I was staying up having way too much fun with this project.
The post were not enough. We decided for me to dress up and take pictures. Soon pictures littered my posts of me in angst. One lying behind a car tire. One outside a funeral home. Anything that would be convincing.
Next came alterations to the actual MySpace page. New dark themes. New depressing music. I think it hit an apex with:
“And I don’t want the world to see me
‘Cause I don’t think that they’d understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am”
Then media silence.
I went offline for quite some time. If you knew me then and still know me now, now you know. The truth.
So the idea of getting outside of your comfort zone is not difficult for me. I probably took that one too far. The issue is that most of the time other people are uncomfortable when you step outside your prescribed roll. They don’t know how to respond.
I read part of a book once about guy saying to stand the other way in an elevator. I don’t take any elevators ever.
Most of the time I just don’t do things because it is easier not to. I don’t do so many of these type of things now as when I was younger. I did like James article Will You Take This $5 Bill For A $1 Bill? Once I wore a plastic top hat and goggles to the viedo rental store. Remember those? I was desperate for attention.
Maybe I will do some of these. Maybe I won’t.
1. Continue to make small talk with strangers.
2. High Five a stranger. (I did this today.)
3. Ask for a RT. (If you are reading this, please RT it or share. It is just a click of a button and it will make my day. Seriously.)
4. Go someplace you’ve never been before.
5. Call someone you know but don’t talk with often.
6.Take a different way to work. ( I did this today.)
7. If you go out to eat, order something new. If you cook at home, try a new recipe.
8. Say hello to everyone you walk past. Be open for conversations that might follow.
9. Listen to a different Pandora station or radio station than normal. Or gasp! just have silence. (I also did this today on the way to work, the silence that is…)
10. Confess something you’ve done wrong.