Wet your lips and make love to the camera

“I have one thing to say, sashay, shante.”

Supermodel was a song on a mix tape of dance music my older sister had given me. I was in middle school. I had no real idea what music I liked so I listed to a wide variety. Mostly anything. It was only in the last year or so I found out that Supermodel was a song by @RuPaul. Now looking back I think that might have seemed a little weird. But hey I still kinda dig the song. And still have a wide variety of musical interest.

RPDRS6_vertical_RuPaul_whtBg1.jpg

As for movies. Not so much.

When I was in high school and had more discretionary income I went to movies more frequently. Now I don’t watch movies very much. Not because of money. But because of most the things I see advertised look like the same thing over and over again.

I have he seen the same 18 wheeler jackknife and explod. The same chase scene with explosion. A drug deal or bust with explosions. Sex scenes with explosions. And on and on.

I am someone who loves to read. Especially a good story. These movies just don’t cut it. And I suppose that is what is behind the irony that I can sit and read for hours but can’t sit still for an entire move. That or fall asleep. It is in part too because I sat quiet and still for 17 years of school and I have had my fill. I like to talk and move and make things happen.

Watching movies is just a passive form of consumption. I am at a point in my life where I want to be producing more than I am consuming. I want to be a giver not a taker.

Plus special effects and loud explosions are only cool the first few times you see them and after that it’s blasé.

I’ve seen some good movies that other people might underrate. They do not have the highest production quality or special effects but they have really great stories. This makes the movie meaningful to me and more interesting to watch. Some of these films have been independent films or “Indie” films that Claudia is talking about.

One thing that is consistent about movies I like to watch is that they usually are funny. I’ve seen a few mockumentaries and I guess that’s kind of the style I enjoy. Several of my ideas are for my mockumentarys. I think life is too great to be taken too seriously. I think it is funny to have a little bit of satire. To have a movie where people act like they are serious but it is all in jest.

I suppose the reason why that is that way is that I used to be a very serious guy. For a long time and I was miserable. Now I am hardly serious ever and my life is much better. I’m not sure if it is like this for everyone but it certainly is for me.

Day 28 of Claudia’s book Become An Idea Machine.

10 great titles for “Indie” movies and the plot. I have separated them into movies that are serious and movies that I would like to see as a mockumentary.

First the serious movies:

1. Boundless

My wife’s grandmother has a fantastic story of her brother being a one man track team. His school had no track team. He wanted to race. He did not let anything stop him. He won meets. Paid for his own uniform, fees, equipment and transportation. It is a great story of drive and determination. Sarah’s grandmother has newspaper clippings, photographs and other documentation to prove the story. It would be fantastic to see on the big screen.

2. Dope Cycle

A while back I heard on the radio about the dark history and subculture of the Tour de France. This movie would expose the world to the under reported drug fueled history of the tour and follow up to the modern day doping scandals.

3. Driving Ourselves To Death

Thousands of Americans die each year on our roads. Yet millions of Americans continue to drive. Most of them distracted. Using cellphones. Eating while driving. Changing the music. Driving tired. Or even under the influence. This is one of the most preventable deaths in society today. Yet we are all okay with gambling our lives away each time we get behind the wheel. A scathing exposé.

Transition (this one could go either way):

4. Olympic Failure

I could see this one being a true to life behind the scenes on the Olympics. Going inside the Olympic village where condoms are being handed out to fit athletic people all coming together and competition at a high level. There is pleanty of stress and even more release. What if a female athlete got pregnant during the down time between her events? What if the TV host got pink eye? (cough…Costas…) What about having to shoot dogs. We know Michael Phelps , besides winning a record 8 gold metals during a single Olympic Games, likes to party. He doesn’t do it alone… Or this could be a funny movie with all the same plot points but with entirely made up characters to have larger than life on screen personalities.

They’re all gonna laugh at you:

These would all be cast in the light of actors making a mockumentary.

5. A Million Dollars A Minute

This will be in the style of “A Mighty Wind” but with an inside look to the world of paid public speaking. Follow two professionals and an “up and coming” as they live the grind of getting paid for their time and hot air.

6. Spill Kit

Someone has to move the body. This film tells the story of those people. Whether it is a crime scene, the scene of an accident or somewhere else, the body can’t stay. And the people who deal with it have to keep sane so they might light of a dark situation.

7. Re-ACT

Students everywhere are worrying their young brains out over standardized testing. ACT. GRE. SAT. MCAT. LSAT. State testing. This hilarious look pokes fun not only at the test but the crazy things people do to get prepared.

8. Jack Of All Hacks

A satirization of people prepping for the zombie apocalypse. With a twist of it actually happening. But the zombies don’t behave in the usual way (but a way different than Shaun of the Dead).

9. Grim Ambition

Get inside the recreational world of men’s softball. A journey of recruiting players. Seeking mercenaries. Having quitters, no shows and injuries. The excuses. The “B” quality umpires. Bro clubs and motley crews. Win or Lose. Somebody is having fun and someone is going home sore.

10. Faking a Fake Moon Landing

I once watched a TV show claiming the moon landing was faked. This movie fakes faking a moon landing. It’s got to have some potential to be hilarious, right? Or am I all alone out here in space?

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“I have one thing to say, action!”

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2 thoughts on “Wet your lips and make love to the camera

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