“I’m gonna page dad,” my sister threatened as we used to chase each other around the house with a butcher knife.
While growing up my siblings and I were left without adult supervision more than was healthy. When my dad first got a pager we blew it up. He must have got a call everyday that summer.
Besides the threats we would watch MTV. Sisqo’s Shakedown was always on lock when it came on. We even played our own at home version with spray chalk.
Mentors are like adult supervision.
I have had mentors in a patchwork of ways. I had a guy disciple me for a while. That was good. I talked to some people and sought out their advice on my problems. This was mostly when I was younger. I used to look up to people until I figured out one day that most people are doing good just to get out of bed, feed themselves and not pee their pants.
I am not saying I am beyond mentors now. I know there is always something new to learn everyday. I am at odds that I love learning but only like it when I discover things. I hate academia.
Usually I am not looking for mentors because I don’t really value what people have to say about things that don’t have to affect my life. Is that selfish? If so I guess that is supposed to be wrong. But it is honest. If something is not directly impacting or applicable to me then I don’t usually care.
While I say that, let me say this. I do care about people.
And only people.
People are important to me because I believe everyone has value.
So when people talk to me I might not care about what they are talking about or caring about, but I care about them so I listen. I listen because it is nice. I listen because I want people to like me. I listen because I want information. I listen because I want to communicate back. I listen because I want to connect.
Connect with me. I am talking (writing) but without your input and interaction I am pissing in the wind.
Is this desperate? Maybe I am desperate for friends. I have never been good at keeping up with people. I have friends for seasons in life but have never had long term ones. Well long term ones that last. I used to blame it on the fact I moved here. Other kids were friends because they grew up together. But I was an outsider who didn’t belong. Or at least that was my narrative.
Now I can’t blame others.
I have lived in Texas for almost 25 years now. That is five sixths of my life. No excuse now for not having been around long enough to have long term friends.
I found that people come and go in life. Maybe we shouldn’t try to hang on.
Be friendly now.
Be cordial. Be courteous. Be kind. And then if you cross paths again connect.
Assignment: 10 people I would like as mentors today and a question I would ask them
And I love asking questions. Just ask my wife. Also she had this to say about mentors, “If you a looking to work for someone or you want them to train and mentor you. Then you might make how they listen to you and their responsiveness to you a priority.”
And more about questions from James Altucher in his article “10 Things I Learned While Interviewing Tony Robbins About His New Book “Money””:
ASK LOUSY QUESTIONS, GET LOUSY ANSWERS.
Many people say, “Why did this have to happen to me?” Or “Why did I lose that job when I was good?”
These are lousy questions. You will never get an answer that makes your life better. I get bitter, resentful, angry. And anger is a form of fear. I’m usually afraid I’m going to go broke. And if I go broke, I’m afraid I die.
You have to ask good questions: “What can I do to improve?” or “How can I find a better job?” or “How can I be grateful that I lost this job?”
Because inside of every problem is the seeds of a “difficult gratitude problem” and it always improves your life to solve those problems.
Now I need to think of not lousy questions. They are probably gonna be lousy because it is getting close to my bed time (and yes I have a bed time).
There are only nine people I would ask, and not 10, and not all of them are alive any more. But they are significant to me because they are all inpirations. In fact they are the features of my upcoming book “Conspire to Inspire: Every Thing Is Awesome When You Are Part Of A Team”. If you want a FREE advanced copy, just let me know, all that I ask in return is your short review testimonial for feedback.
Who are the nine? And What would I ask them?
1. Bob Goff : @bobgoff
Do you ever see fighting injustice as a loosing battle? How do you continue to move outside of yourself and invest in others everyday?
2. Mel Robbins: @melrobbins
What do you think it will take for women in America and around the world to stop being used and treated as sex symbols in advertising?
3. Dale Carnegie: @DaleCarnegie
You wrote the book on How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Do you feel like you had a lot of meaningful friendships? Were you able not to worry most of the time?
4. Simon Sinek: @simonsinek
Have you always seen yourself doing what it is you do now or did you ever have other ambitions in life as a child?
5. James Altucher: @jaltucher
Are you okay? Really? You seem like a great guy, but I wonder sometimes about if you have found solace in life or ever will.
6. Claudia Altucher: @ClaudiaYoga
Are you crazy? Joking. You maried James, your life must be exciting every day. What do you think it will take for women to shake off centuries of undervaluing their self worth?
7. Stefan Sagmeister: @sagmeisterwalsh
Did you ever fear your art wouldn’t make it possible to sustin yourself?
8. Zig Ziglar: @TheZigZiglar
What was your favorite passtime?
9. Theodore Roosevelt: @_______________?
Where did your drive come from and how did you keep it burning so hot every day?
What would you ask them? Any questions for me?