I was terrified.
I didn’t understand what was happening.
I couldn’t go anywhere. I was trapped. I was in a position where I couldn’t fight or take flight.
I am tougher now but I am merely masking my sensitivity.
I realize I hate being under others power or control.
That’s why I got stronger.
That is also why I am great at avoidance.
But these other situations I have to freeze. I don’t like not being able to move.
Situations like getting a haircut where I sit still and be quiet. Like all those years in school. In fear of being in “trouble”.
Or when the bright lights are in my eyes. My mouth stretched open. The masked faces leaning in. The tools picking at my teeth.
Sometimes it is the waiting. The unknown. But knowing that I must stay.
I do great when I “get to”.
I struggle when I “have to”.
What do I do instead?
A) Get out
Get out of my head that is. Reading. Writing. Puzzles. Problem solving.
But the best is helping others.
Take active thought of my breathing. Sometimes slow. Or deep. But ultimately being aware.
Opposite of getting out of my head. I let my thoughts wander. I avoid focus. I permit and embrace distraction.
Why? Why am I doing this? What dream is it helping me move closer to? What will be the benefit or payout?
Expect the scenario. Plan mentally for them. Pack supplies that may come in handy.
Treat myself to something after. I bought myself ice cream after getting my first, and surprise, prostrate check. I went in for a physical. That wasn’t checked last time…
Skip any and all unpleasant events. Walk away if things go south. Call someone. Get help.
This is usually not what I do. But now I am ready when the time comes. Just ask my wife about my amazing ninja skills at night.
Whatever it is that is going on in your life, the pain, the hurt, the anger, the hate, they are real, raw and difficult emotions. But love, kindness, healing, redemption, forgiveness, and restoration are very real too. They just require a bit more work to look for them.
Lest I remain terrified…
Want more about Conspire to Inspire?
In it I will tell how I put together a dream team of virtual mentors, including Zig Zigglar, and why you should care.
Go to sarahpaine.com for more great perspectives to rethink life!